I wake up many days with a heavy feeling of loss!
Today is not one of them,thought. I woke today feeling better than all these days before. The light in my small flat felt brighter today.
It amuses me how it really annoys me to see light these other days, when i miss everything that i don’t have at this specific moment and fail to appreciate what i do have and enjoy it,Those times, those friends and those dreams and the family that appears to me falling apart, those opportunities that i won’t have anymore, these men that i can’t touch anymore. Things i can now only remember by looking at photos and check my friend’s blogs’ archives!
Thinking of what i became gives me the conclusion that i am just a deformed copy of my own parents and sometimes makes me feel there is no sense in even trying to be different. The last thing that proves this is how, exactly like my dad, i grew up to hate change, any change, for the better or for the worse. Change drives me mad even when i want it or fight for it .
(This post is just to warm up my brain cells, i am struggling these days to decide on a language to write with, i don’t feel English expresses me and i am not good at fos7a and 3ameya is just silly!! any suggestions)